Alzheimer’s disease is something that affects Hispanics more than any other ethnic group. It’s a horrible progressive mental illness that has no cure and the people that suffer the most are not always those with the disease, but the ones that become 24-hour caretakers. This was the case for Rosita Perez whose mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s at the age of 60.
Isabel Solero led a normal life surrounded by her kids and husband, she loved to cook, she had a job and everything was fine until her family began noticing some strange behavior. “My mom had 4 kids and she started confusing our names, losing her keys and misplacing things,” explains Rosita Perez. At first, her family didn’t think much of it, but when it became more frequent and even began showing up at school to pick up her grandson at different times, they knew something was wrong.
It’s not easy being a caretaker
Solero lived in her home since 1965, so she knew the neighborhood very well since she never drove and walked everywhere. Now she was taking longer to get back from a quick errand and soon enough her family knew that she couldn’t go anywhere by herself anymore.
“She became afraid of the water and I would have to help her shower, she was losing her sense of picking out her clothes for the specific seasons, like she would wear shorts in the winter and I had to lay her clothes the night before,” said Perez.
As her health began to decline, her daughter found an adult day program where a nurse would come visit her twice a day. One day the police found her wandering off and that’s when Perez brought her mom to live with her and her family. This is when she became her mother’s caretaker, taking her away from her home where nothing was familiar to her. She even moved into a bedroom where she would sleep with her and Perez would wake up and her mom would be staring at her. “One time she almost hit me and it was something related to my sister and when we took her to the hospital they told us that she couldn’t live with us anymore because it was a big concern,” she explains.
This experience made her stronger because giving up on her mom was never an option. Every day was a learning experience when she lived with her mom, which only lasted 2 months. “It’s difficult because you’re always second-guessing yourself, so I always questioned whether I was helping her to the best of my ability. I never had any instructions, I never dealt with it directly, I always asked myself if I was doing this the right way or if I could do more,” she explains.
Alzheimer’s Association can help
There are so many people like Perez who are thrown into situations like these, which are overwhelming and challenging. By the time her mom was at the hospital, that’s when she got introduced to more resources, that’s when she learned about the Alzheimer’s Association and her only regret is not finding them sooner.
“The Alzheimer’s Association was amazing, you meet people that can relate to you because they’ve walked the same shoes as you,“ she explains. People that have a family member that has Alzheimer’s can get resources and even a great support system from the Alzheimer’s Association. “You have this great network where you could just release—if you want to cry, you can just cry and they understand.” The Alzheimer’s Association even has a library of books that she would borrow instead of having to go out and buy them.
“The 24/7 hotline; I can’t even tell you how many times I called them crying, confused, asking them, ‘Am I doing this right, could I be doing something better, can you give me feedback?’ Every time I called, the person on the other line walked me through things and gave me feedback that I was able to use,” she says.
”Alzheimer’s is fatal, there’s no cure for this, you can’t prevent it, there are no survivors that I know of and it progresses, and it’s so much more than the person forgetting things because I witnessed my mom forgetting things to her body breaking down…things that she could do before and now she couldn’t do,” she explains. Things like bed sores from laying in bed all day, she also lost her teeth because she forgot to brush them and they had to extract them.
“I’m 100% fearful of getting the disease, I would never want my children, my husband to see what I had to see with my mom,” she says. Even with her mother in the nursing home, she noticed others walking around one day and the next day, they could no longer walk.
Her mother passed away at the age of 74, but during the last 6 or 7 years, she’s been very active with the Alzheimer’s Association. She does walks, fundraising, and volunteers because they were her support when she needed help and this is why it’s so important for her to share her story.
“I’m always trying to educate myself because Hispanics and women are at a higher risk. I try to eat healthier, I try to do everything I can, but all you can do is try because this can become anybody’s world—it’s a scary thing.”