When we think of bullying we immediately think of children and teens getting bullied at school. It’s something that is more prominent in today’s society, especially cyber bullying. There are many ongoing efforts to stop bullying because bullying hurts a person’s self-esteem and could cause depression and even suicide. It’s a serious matter and many times bullying can start at home.
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Parents often make excuses for their children’s behavior, especially when children become unmanageable and abusive to them. Technology has given children a lot of liberties and many children bully their parents, they act inappropriately, disrespectful and even blackmail their parents into getting them what they want.
In an interview with Psychology Today, Sean Grover, author and a New York psychotherapist wrote the book, When Kids Call the Shots: How to Seize Control from Your Darling Bully, he explains how parents can take charge again and restore positive parent-child relationships.
After realizing he was being bullied by his own child, he found that generic parenting advice was not cutting it. Grover found that a parent’s unique history, culture and parenting style was the solution to the problem. His child’s behavior was a direct consequence of his own insecurities.
“When a child tests a parent’s authority and the parent sets a limit, the child learns to control himself. Setting limits and boundaries is essential to a child’s healthy emotional development. When those limits and boundaries aren’t set clearly, you’ll soon find yourself at a tipping point for bullying,” he told Psychology Today.
Testing can be described as nagging and pestering. Bullying, on the other hand, is aggressive, hostile, and mean. It involves verbal assaults, physical aggression, putdowns, and unrelenting abuse. And it feels terrible.
“The bullies in the schoolyard are no different from the child bullying her parent at home: Both will stop at nothing to get what they want. They lack empathy and are trapped in their own narcissism. They will threaten, blackmail, and terrorize you until you give in. Until they are taught limits and boundaries, the parent-child relationship is doomed,” explains Grover.
Read more on his advice on bullying.
NEXT: Rivalry or Bullying?