One of the most fun parts about being in a relationship typically comes from the time spent in the bedroom, getting to know each other intimately, exploring the ins-and-outs of your partner. However, there are certain times and situations that may cause a decrease in your sex drive. However obvious some of these might seem, focusing on how to relieve these issues can increase your desire and ability to make love to your partner.
1. Stress: Sadly, stress has become a part of people’s every day lives. From work, family to economic and societal stresses stress can be a big hindrance in feeling sexy with your partner. Stress has a much bigger impact on our bodies than we think. Relieving the pressure will help in all aspects of life. Talking it out may be the answer. However, seeking professional help may not be out of the question.
2. Partner Problems: Having trust issues, lack of communication, betrayal or fights can come between couples. Being honest and discussing the issue at hand may help. Although sometimes it’s hard to face that fact that either person was wrong, coming clean may actually help to save the day and end in make-up sex, after all.
3. Alcohol: Although drinking may open you up to sex, drinking too much can make you sloppy leading to a definitive partner turn-off. Drinking isn’t the only way to open yourself up to the possibility of sex. Building a close, intimate relationship is the best way to make it work and work well. Try cutting down on the alcohol consumption, although if you have a problem doing that, seek help.
4. Lack of Sleep: “I’m too tired,” is a phrase that is tied to women’s lack of sexual activity. Even though it may be funny on sitcoms, it might very well be the honest truth as to why someone might not be feeling it at the moment. Sex is exercise, no matter the position, and the thought of exerting yourself might just be out of the question after a day or night of no sleep.
5. Children: The sex drive doesn’t disappear with children, but the feeling of being close to your partner might. Running around and managing your children may take precedence over making love, but it shouldn’t stop you from doing it all together. Have your prima or tía take the kids for the night so you can have some time alone with your lover. It makes all the difference.
6. Medication: From anti-depressants to birth control pills, medications can be the blame for slowing down your sex drive. Knowing which ones have this effect on you may help in the effort to rebuild your sex drive. Do you only have to take it for a certain amount of time? Determining the length of time and type of medication can help to heal your relationship issues.
7. Poor Body Image: Feeling like you don’t look good doesn’t help you feel attractive or sexy. Working on yourself and developing a higher self-esteem will eventually help your sex-drive. If your partner feels like they’re lacking, assure them that they look good. Working out together and eating right together could also help both of you increase your drive. Confidence is one of the top keys to feeling sexy.
8. Obesity: Desire dims when you are obese. It might be because you can’t perform as you want to or are held back by self-esteem issues. A bigger problem might be that you can’t enjoy sex as you’d like to. Working with a counselor can help you feel better about yourself and get you in shape to have sex as you please.
9. Erection Problems: Illness and age could be two reasons for erectile dysfunction. Another could be emotional weight or extreme stress. Those who have erectile dysfunction may worry about being able to perform, killing the desire to even try. Nailing down the issue and working on it may be the answer to the problem. See your doctor for medication options that may be right for you.
10. Low Testosterone Levels: As men age, their testosterone level may decrease, which is in charge of their sex drive. Some men may lose their desire for sex, but not all of them. Other situations, such as weight and relationships, may also impact testosterone levels, so there may be other issues depending on the individual man.
11. Depression: Depression can decrease enjoyment of many things, including sex. Talking it out with a therapist may be the best answer. Anti-depression medication may also be the cause of the lack of sexual desire. Getting help may resolve the issue.
12. Menopause: For women, sex drive diminishes around menopause. This might be due to vaginal dryness and pain during sex, although this isn’t the case for all women. Many enjoy sex and maintain a healthy sex drive during this body-changing time.
13. Lack of Closeness: Intimacy is much more than just sex. Building up your closeness without being purely physical may increase your sex drive and bring you and your partner closer together. Try cuddling, talking and trading massages.