A self-assessment (pdf) developed by the American Medical Association can help you determine your own state of well-being, but here are some tips to help ensure that your needs are met:
Seek help in advance. One mistake that caregivers make is waiting until they’re overwhelmed to ask for a hand, Dr. Cutts says. Instead, “schedule some help on a regular basis so you know that there is respite coming,” she says. That way you have something to look forward to on a regular basis.
Create your own support system. Your loved one isn’t the only one who needs support. As a caregiver, you are likely expending an extraordinary amount of physical and emotional resources. Check with local HIV/AIDS organizations to see if they offer any support groups for caregivers. They also may be able to steer you toward programs that provide resources such as meals. In your search for support, don’t overlook informal networks such as relatives or close friends whom you can be honest with about what you’re going through. “A lot of times, people feel guilty because they feel like they’re complaining,” says Dr. Cutts. “But you really need to share with someone how you’re feeling.”
Put nutrition and exercise first. As a caregiver, you’re likely concerned that your loved one gets the nutrition that he or she needs to better manage HIV/AIDS. However, it’s equally important for caregivers to eat right and exercise, Dr. Cutts says. Not only will those habits ward off illnesses, but “a proper diet and exercise are important for managing stress,” she says.
Nurture your spiritual connection. When someone is sick, it’s not uncommon to feel a sense of helplessness about the situation. However, the act of surrendering to a higher power is a central component of most religious and spiritual traditions. If you’re spiritual, look to whatever source you believe to be greater than yourself for comfort during difficult times.
Like the airline passenger who is told to put on his oxygen mask before helping the passenger beside him, you must put your needs first. “You cannot give your best to your loved one or to the other responsibilities in your life if you don’t take care of yourself,” Dr. Cutts says.