He cheated, but she doesn’t leave him. Yet, in relationships where the woman cheats, the relationship often ends in divorce. Why do some women choose to stay with their wandering mate?
Juanes, Alex Rodríguez, celebrities, politicians, even the hubby next door—they all do it. But the story’s the same: Husband cheats, gets caught. Wife grimaces, then bears it.
In fact, up to 75 percent of couples rocked by an affair stay together. Why don’t women get rid of their wandering mates?
1. Fear of being alone.
She’s been with him for years, building a life together and focusing on their combined futures. Thinking about letting all that go makes her queasy with fear of the unknown. She’s probably harried by concerns such as what her life will be like without him in it. Facing that uncertainty is often too scary of a prospect. She’d rather stick with the status quo because, as difficult as it might be, it’s a comfort zone.
2. Do it for the kids.
Although it sounds naive, staying with a man for the children makes sense to the woman in question. As a mother, she has people other than herself to consider, and she might hesitate at the idea of breaking up the family by leaving her boyfriend or husband.
3. Her finances take a hit.
It’s not a completely unfounded fear: A woman is likely to draw the short financial straw in a divorce. An ex-wife’s standard of living drops more than 25 percent, studies show. They’re also more likely to lose other essentials, such as health insurance and their homes. Emotions aside, not having money can cause a woman to stay. How is she going to leave and start a new life on her own if she has been depending on him for financial stability? This is an issue that could keep women, both gold diggers and non-gold diggers alike, in the relationship — even if they’re not in love with their partners anymore.
4. No one’s perfect.
As people live, age and grow together, they recognize that they have to give up the dreams of the perfect spouse. They know their mate eventually will disappoint them. But they still think that people can get on the right path and think it’s possible their boyfriends will change their cheating ways and revert to how they were before the infidelity.
5. Her professional status is tied to his.
Building a relationship with someone is more than forging emotional ties; it can incorporate other financial, energy and time costs. For instance, if she has built a business with her guy, leaving the relationship could risk her venture. Likewise, having invested feelings and energy cultivating the relationship could make her hesitant to walk away with nothing. She would rather work on the current relationship than cut her losses.
6. Family and religious pressure.
The decision to leave a marriage doesn’t always sit well with traditional, religious families. Many believe that women should keep a marriage together — whatever the cost. Some women are constantly bombarded by that “through thick and thin” clause in their vows and see leaving a cheater as a break in a promise to God.
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